choke by surprise

Dear god Please make me a bird So i can fly Far far away

The sadness seeps into every inch. The will to carry on evaporates. You brought me to this ugly Place. And now i wanna go home so bad

“Dinosauria, we”

born like this
into this
as the chalk faces smile
as Mrs. Death laughs
as the elevators break
as political landscapes dissolve
as the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree
as the oily fish spit out their oily prey
as the sun is masked

we are
born like this
into this
into these carefully mad wars
into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness
into bars where people no longer speak to each other
into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings

born into this
into hospitals which are so expensive that it’s cheaper to die
into lawyers who charge so much it’s cheaper to plead guilty
into a country where the jails are full and the madhouses closed
into a place where the masses elevate fools into rich heroes

born into this
walking and living through this
dying because of this
muted because of this
castrated
debauched
disinherited
because of this
fooled by this
used by this
pissed on by this
made crazy and sick by this
made violent
made inhuman
by this

the heart is blackened
the fingers reach for the throat
the gun
the knife
the bomb
the fingers reach toward an unresponsive god

the fingers reach for the bottle
the pill
the powder

we are born into this sorrowful deadliness
we are born into a government 60 years in debt
that soon will be unable to even pay the interest on that debt
and the banks will burn
money will be useless
there will be open and unpunished murder in the streets
it will be guns and roving mobs
land will be useless
food will become a diminishing return
nuclear power will be taken over by the many
explosions will continually shake the earth
radiated robot men will stalk each other
the rich and the chosen will watch from space platforms
Dante’s Inferno will be made to look like a children’s playground

the sun will not be seen and it will always be night
trees will die
all vegetation will die
radiated men will eat the flesh of radiated men
the sea will be poisoned
the lakes and rivers will vanish
rain will be the new gold

the rotting bodies of men and animals will stink in the dark wind

the last few survivors will be overtaken by new and hideous diseases

and the space platforms will be destroyed by attrition
the petering out of supplies
the natural effect of general decay

and there will be the most beautiful silence never heard

born out of that.

the sun still hidden there

awaiting the next chapter.

I feel everything.

I feel you betraying me.

I can feel you lying.

I feel the hate inside of you.

That is for urself but directed at me.

I can feel you when youre guilty.

Or when you are upset.

I can feel the rage that burns inside of you.

i can feel all the sadness that you have been through too.

And I can feel your disappointments and your indecisive brain.

But then sometimes

I can feel your soul.

I can feel the love that you are capable of.

And I wonder…why cant you let go of all the hurt and pain.

Fuck yesterday.

what are you gonna do today????

Dear, I fear we’re facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn’t bother
that I ought to stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can’t care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could do have done in another way
to make you stay
Reason will not lead to solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don’t care if you really care
as long as you don’t go

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can’t care about anything but you

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
Love me love me
I know that you need me
I can’t care about anything but you

Oh yeah now i rememvet why i hate you. Because you’re so cruel you can bring me down like no one can. You can make me feel minuscule and diaregarded in an inatant. Fuck u. Love me.

U were my heart but now u are gone What does thay leave me. A souless entity aimlessly wandering through a cold alienating world. I found myself in u and now you have strayed I must reflect on my failed Attempt to sort them out so that one day when I alone am whole I can give u me completely, without hurting us both.

Void within Makes me cringe I am stronh I need no one. I will piece myself back together And I will feel whole again

this feeling i feel is like a shot to the chest

i dont want to talk about it

i dont want to drink

I dont want to move out

i dont want to move on

i dont want to see you with anyone else

i dont want you to leave me so far behind

i dont want anything without you

everything means nothing when you are not here